Sometimes it's hard for me to say this. "I love with my soul." It occurs only with the best and deepest of friendships. It takes a long time to learn to love someone so deeply. But then, sometimes it doesn't.

Tell me, what makes the difference?

For those whom it takes a long time, you learn to love them. Of course, you learn to love those in the opposing category, but in a much longer time. There are just those people who you have to grow to be comfortable around. The people that you know will accept you, but you're just too afraid to let yourself trust in them. That's how many of the relationships go in this world. It's not too often that you meet someone and know that they are going to be your best friend. You have to ease yourself into this security. You can't, however, fool yourself into it. You cannot talk yourself into allowing them into your life. Things have to match up. You have to see things as they truly are. If this doesn't happen, then what is the point? Wouldn't everything that you build that relationship upon be a lie?

This also leads me to the question whether or not you can force yourself to fall in love with someone. In previous times, I might actually say that this has happened to me. You feel that deep need for some sort of connection, and that is the one person who will give it to you. Even if you find far too many flaws in their character, you still allow yourself to be with them because you are, for lack for a better phrase, "in love with love." It's this idea of love that you admire, and this is exactly what happens with a fair number of people. You find that it isn't the other person that you are caring for, but an idea.

As I look back, I feel as though I might be able to see the difference. It's a hard and very difficult line to see. But, like I said before, you care for an idea. In love, you care for that other person. And it's not despite of their flaws. In the long run, you can't ignore them. Those little things are what come back to haunt many relationships. You have to see them for what they are. I can look at my boyfriend right this moment and say that I see the flaws. And I accept them. I know what they are. They're part of who he is. When you're "in love with love," you're willing to fully ignore anything that could possibly be wrong to have that feeling.

Maybe it's these "quick loves" that can be the most dangerous, but sometimes they can also be the best. From any perspective you look at it, there are always going to be different answers. There are those people that you know you click with. There seems to be that little cliche "spark" between you. Of course it happens. People meet and have things in common. Sometimes you have even more in common than you could have ever thought. And common sense tells you to hang back. See what happens. It's the little angel on your shoulder warning you not to get too wrapped up to be sure that nothing bad happens to destroy your hopes that you so eagerly placed in this person. And sometimes we ignore it. And sometimes we don't.

We can never really know our alternate ways. What would have happened if we did this or didn't do that. I know that I wish I could change some things.

But it's those I love with my soul that I can't change. I can't look back on them and regret what has happened. And, you might ask, can't I just change my mind one day and reverse everything that I have just stated? If I've learned anything, yes, I can regret the bad things, but no...that love can't die. It's there. And as painful as it is sometimes, I'm stuck with it.

But for the most part...loving is the best thing that has ever happened to me. To anyone. We have to embrace it for all that it's worth. Because, I think in the end, the struggle is worth it.

Sometimes I think I feel like a little kid preaching about something I know nothing about. I can't change it. I can only keep going, keep learning, keep loving with my soul...and see what happens.


:DD Bham, there's this thing called 'Awesome', and you embody it. <3

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In the lands between the angels and demons sits a girl, struggling toward the light, fleeing the grasp of the foresaken.